Weird News Archive: The Best of the Weird Web!


Smelly Man Kicked off Flight; he sues airline

(Ananova.com) A German man is suing an airline after being kicked off a flight for being too smelly.

Werner Brechtfeld, 46, who had spent the day sightseeing in the hot Hawaiian sunshine, was asked to leave the plane in Honolulu when the person sitting next to him complained.

The passenger told flight attendants that Mr Brechtfeld "stinks to high heaven".

A spokesman at the Duesseldorf court where Brechtfeld is suing for damages, said: "He was asked to change t-shirts but his bags had already been checked in.

"So the air hostesses said he would have to get off the flight as he was disturbing other passengers. He had to wait four hours for the next flight and missed his connection to Germany."

Grandad becomes Porn Star in Russia

(Ananova.com) A 75-year-old granddad has become a porn star in Russia after wandering into a blue movie audition by mistake.

David Bozdoganov wandered into the Gorodcki production company's studios after mistaking posters for new erotic actors as an advert for a muscle man show.

Director Alexander Plahov said: "We were auditioning for a new film and had a number of couples on stage simulating sex when I saw an old guy standing at the back.

"I wandered over to ask him to leave when I saw this massive package straining against his trousers. I thought, now this could be an original idea.
"And I was right - all the movies we've made with David have been huge successes."

The OAPs biggest hits have been The Old Neighbour and The Handyman at Work.

But Plahov added: "His female co-stars always complain because David believes in the beneficial power of garlic and insists on rubbing it on his erection before a scene and it's rather smelly."

FRUSTRATED WIFE TAKES JOB IN BROTHEL

(Ananova.com) A frustrated German housewife says she has been forced to take a job in a brothel since her husband lost his sex drive.

Adelheid Kran, 58, from Berlin said: "I like sex, I like it a lot, but my husband Guenther has no appetite for sex anymore and does it about once a year."

She added in order to combat the tension between them caused by her sexual frustration she has started working in a "mature ladies" brothel.

"I saw an ad in the paper looking for mature women and decided to try it. Guenther's not thrilled about it, but I can't hem myself in just because he's not up for it and we're actually getting on better now.

"It's not something I do full time, and I only have sex with the men I like. In a job like this, you have to keep a certain standard," she said.

Nurse arrested for making beer festival porn movie

(Ananova.com) A nurse and two cameramen were arrested at the Munich beer festival for filming a porn movie on the city's famous big wheel.

The 21-year-old registered nurse, unnamed due to German privacy laws, and her two acquaintances were spotted 'filming sexual acts' by three Italian tourists in another carriage of the ride.

The Oktoberfest tourists alerted authorities, who detained the nurse and the filmmakers - a 25-year-old student and a 30-year-old teacher.

Munich police released a statement saying: "The trio were spotted in the carriage with filming equipment.
"The 21-year-old suddenly disrobed and produced a sex toy that she began to use while the other two filmed her."

The three have been charged with public indecency.



Dutch police are powerless to stop outdoor orgies

Dutch police and park rangers have admitted they are powerless to stop a growing trend of outdoor sex orgies.

In the latest incident, a large group of people were found romping naked on a beach in the Bussloo area of the country.

They including 10 couples who were being "particularly boisterous" with each other while the others watched.

But police called to the scene admitted they were powerless to act despite numerous complaints from other beach users, and could only give the naked orgy lovers a verbal warning.

The head of one of Holland's biggest national parks says the problem is getting worse and has called for the government to make clear guidelines on outdoor sex orgies to allow police to act.

Eric Droogh, who is director at the Veluwe National Park, said: "A national debate on wild sex parties in the countryside is essential.

"Police and park wardens currently have too little scope to intervene. The only possibility is to catch the transgressors red-handed.

"Outdoor sex is now commonly occurring in national parks and other public places. In some cases they just stopped beside the road in the picnic area or a meadow for the orgies."

He called for clearer guidelines and sanctions to deal with the outdoor sex phenomenon.

Farmer Breaks Penis

(Ananova.com) A newly married Romanian farmer fractured his penis after ogling his young wife while carrying a heavy sack of grain.

Farmer Gheorghe Popa, 52, from Galati, had been moving the grain sacks to the barn when he stopped to watch his 25-year-old wife Loredana hang up the washing.

He got himself over excited and dropped the sack on his erect penis, snapping vital tendons and ligaments.

Doctor Nicolae Bacalbasa said: "It was a bizarre accident, and he was in a lot of pain.

"We have done what we can for him but he may never regain use of the organ again, at least for sexual purposes."

 

Woman, 86, jailed for calling 911 20 times

(May 25th, 2005 from oldpeoplearefunny.com)

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - An 86-year-old woman has been sent to jail after police said she called 911 dispatchers 20 times in a little more than a half-hour to complain about a pizza parlor. Dorothy Densmore remained in jail Tuesday charged with misusing the 911 system, a jail spokeswoman said.

She told dispatchers Sunday that a local pizza shop refused to deliver a pie to her south Charlotte apartment, said Officer Mandy Giannini, a Charlotte-Mecklenburg police spokeswoman. She also complained that someone at the shop called her a "crazy old coot," Giannini said.

Densmore wanted them arrested. Instead, police came to arrest her, and she resisted, Giannini said.

It's unusual for someone to face charges for nonemergency calls, Giannini said. But on Sunday, Densmore kept calling 911, even after she was told to stop, Giannini said.

When an officer arrived at her apartment, the 5-foot-tall, 98-pound woman attacked him, Giannini said. Densmore scratched him, kicked and bit his hand, she said.

Densmore is also charged with resisting a public officer and two counts of misusing the 911 system, jail records show.

It was the second time she'd been charged with misusing the emergency system, court records show.

In March 2004, police said she called 911 about 10 times after she was asked to stop, a police report says. She then threatened to hit the officer with a chair when he came to arrest her, the report states.

Sources: Article | Smoking Gun Police Report

Man Spends Two Weeks with Padlock on Genitals

(Portsmouth Herald) A Maine man called police last week to get their assistance getting a padlock off of this genitals. According to the victim, a friend (some friend!) placed the padlock around his scrotum while he was drunk and then left. When he sobered up, the man tried to use the key to open the lock, but broke it off inside. Then, of course, he tried to use a hacksaw to cut through it and was unsuccessful . . . so he broke down and called the cops. They brought in a locksmith who managed to free the guys testicles without any permanent damage to the family jewels.



Granny Glues Eyes Shut

(www.oldpeoplearefunny.com)

January 2005 - SUNSHINE Coast great-grandmother Terry Horder got the fright of her life when she accidentally stuck her eyes shut with super-strength glue.

The 78-year-old Wurtulla resident was defrosting the fridge when her eyes started watering and she reached for a bottle of allergy eye drops.

But instead of grabbing the medicated drops she got Loctite 401 instant glue. The powerful adhesive was being kept in the fridge to avoid heat damage.

"That second my eyes were glued shut and I realised the glue was next to the drops in the fridge," Mrs Horder said.

Her husband of 57 years, Joe Horder, said his normally outspoken wife was suddenly very quiet. "Normally you can't shut her up but she went very silent and I just heard this little voice say 'Dad, I think I've glued my eyes shut'," Mr Horder said.

Mr Horder called Triple-0 and paramedics soon arrived to take her to Caloundra Hospital's emergency ward.

Nurses then used vegetable oil to try to remove the glue, which had fused Mrs Horder's eyelashes together and seeped under the lids.

"There was a pool of glue against the eyeball itself but lucky it couldn't dry because of the water on the eye," Mrs Horder said.

"They soaked my eyes for around five minutes and then tried to pry the lashes apart, which wasn't pleasant. But about 10 minutes later I was good as new."

Girl at Center of Controversy at Milton Academy Allegedly Attends Booze-Fueled Hotel Teen Orgy

(DumbAss Daily. Com) According to a source, the girl, who allegedly performed oral sex on five high school hockey players a few weeks ago, later attended a friend's Sweet 16 birthday party at a Boston hotel and greeted guests at the door topless. Also, a high school football coach is accused of licking the bleeding knee of one of his players and Fresno State fires their woman's basketball coach because she was too hot and blonde . . . and maybe took prescription drugs intended for one of her players and mishandled some money . . . but mostly because she's hot. (DumbAss Daily. Com)

Woman Wins Free Breast Implants in Bar Competition

(Boston Globe) More than 30 young women, mostly in their late teens and early 20s, took turns at spinning a large wheel at a Canadian bar called The Element in hopes of winning a new set of breasts. Hours after a local religious group ended their protest of the event, 22-year-old banker Tiffany Freisen was the last woman standing and awarded the prize of a $3000 breast augmentation surgery--part of the bar's Sextreme Makeover completion. At right, Ms. Freisen celebrates her victory. Check back here in a couple of months for the follow-up story.

Mother of the Year? Great Mom: This One Locked Two Kids in Trunk During an Eight Hour Road Trip

(CNN via DumbAss Daily.com) If there seems to be an epidemic of these things lately, it's because there's been three or four of them reported . . . every day. Okay, maybe not EVERY day, but it sure seems to be happening way more frequently than I can ever remember: moms driving around with kids in the trunk. Most have been just "in town" short trips to the store, but not this lady. Cheryl Ann Schoonmaker has been charged with felony child abuse and child cruelty after she allegedly forced two of her children to take turns riding in the trunk of a car on an eight-hour drive from Alabama to Virginia. According to police, the two girls, ages 8 and 10, to take turns in the trunk July 1 because there wasn't enough room in the car.

Parents Hire Stripper for Son's 16th Birthday Party

(Tampa Bay Online.com) What happened to the days of playing a few games and opening presents? Apparently, they are long gone, especially if you are Landon and Anette Pharris of Nashville, Tennessee who wanted to do something special when their son turned 16 . . . so they hired a stripper to perform for him and a group of friends for "several hours." At that point, the kids took up a collection and raised $150, enough to get "Sassy" to fully disrobe. The couple was charged with contributing the delinquency of a minor, given two years of probation and also were ordered to take parenting classes.

A Little to the Left: Woman Arrested for Falsely Accusing Six Men of Rape; Video of Incident Shows Her Directing the Action

(KNBC) Tamara Anne Moonier, a 29-year-old Orange County, California woman came to police earlier this month and told them a horrific story about how she had been abducted at gunpoint outside a bar then sexually assaulted by six men at an unknown location. She also claimed they had videotaped the whole thing providing police with valuable evidence . . . except it didn't show what they expected.

On it, police now say, Moonier is actually telling the others what to do. According to Paul Chrisopoulos, deputy district attorney, she was "Pulling them in certain directions, pulling them into a bedroom, making references to the camera, aware that a camera is on, and just saying things that do not demonstrate fear and demonstrate a consenting adult."

In addition to the false charges, they also say Moonier fraudulently received more than $1,800 from a state emergency fund intended for crime victims.

More Bang in Back
Man Arrested When Cops Find Wife, Kids Sitting on Top of Cases of Illegal Fireworks in Van

(Seattle Post via Dumbass Daily.com) This guy earns our Double Dumbass Award: Washington State Police say a man could face child endangerment charges after they found him and his family in a van packed full of illegal fireworks. How many fireworks? A box? Maybe a case? No, this loser had 48 cases of firecrackers, rockets, and other fireworks that are illegal outside of American Indian reservations. When officers pulled the van over they found a woman and baby riding in the back of the van surrounded by cartons of fireworks, and an unrestrained 5-year-old sitting on a box of fireworks next to the driver. The 26-year-old driver was cited for failing to display proper hazardous material placards and not carrying credentials to transport the fireworks. For his part, the guy claimed he was taking the fireworks--estimated to be work about $12,000--to Grand Ronde, Ore., for a fireworks display.

POTHEADS ON PARADE!

Man Tries to Pay for Pizza With Pot

(Dumbass Daily.com) What a dumbass! A 21-year-old Fargo man early Saturday after he allegedly assaulted a pizza delivery driver who refused to take marijuana as payment. Not surprisingly, cops who arrested the man said he was intoxicated.

But Isn't Sharing a Good Thing? Substitute Teacher Accused of Smoking Weed With Class

(Dumbass Daily.com) California police have arrested a substitute teacher at Fresno High School who is accused of smoking marijuana with students during class.

According to reports, Christopher Bochin, 22, was teaching a ninth-grade earth science class when he asked two students go to his car and get marijuana and a pipe. Then, being a good sub, Bochin and several students smoked from the pipe.


HS Boy Testifies: Lady Substitute Teacher and I Smoked Weed, Had Sex EVERY DAY for Nearly a Year

(Dumbass Daily.com) You'd think someone would be sore after that . . . I mean smoking all that weed. Anyway, after pleading guilty to sexual assault of a child, former substitute teacher for the Tyler Independent School District, Antigone Overstreet, 39 faced her former teen lover during the punishment phase of her trial this week and what a tale that boy told. According to the victim, he met Ms. Overstreet at John Tyler High School, where he was 15 and later went over to her house and the two of them smoked marijuana together. The next night he returned and the pair had sex . . . and then, according to him, this routine continued every single day for the next 10 months. To add insult to injury he also testified that they watched pornography together and used sex toys. Overstreet, who has a 12-year-old daughter, faces up to 20 years in prison for the second-degree felony.


Shop Teacher Resigns After Students Tell Cops She Let Them Make Metal Bongs in Class

(Dumbass Daily.com) Rebecca A. Boswell, 45, a teacher at Abingdon High School resigned this week after being accused of allowing students to make drug paraphernalia in metal shop class. After police busted a bunch of the punks in a drug sweep they squealed on their own teacher, violating one of the first rules of shop class: Never Talk About Bong Making in Shop Class.


"Show & Tell?" 6-Year-Old Brings Mom's Pot to School

(WTNH via Dumbass Daily.com) Police were called to Noah Webster Elementary School in Hartford, Connecticut when a six-year-old girl first grader decided to bring some of her mom's marijuana to school. Some, as is SIX BAGS of it.

The cops then went to the home of 42-year-old Lisa Phillips, searched her home and allegedly found about half a pound of weed. Phillips was arrested on drug charges and her daughter was placed with a relative. (WTNH)


High School Math Teacher Takes Girls to His Home, Boozes Them Up Then Shows Them His Pot Farm

(Dumbass Daily.com) Probably should file this one under "Things I Now Wish I Hadn't Done." Michael B. Ziemian, a 34-year-old math teacher at Venice High School in Florida, invited two female students to his house after school to complete some work.

While there he poured them a couple of vodka-and-tonics and smoked some weed with them. His big mistake though was when he took them out to his garage and showed him his pot growing operation. Ziemian has now been charged with--get this--possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana, cultivation of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, delivery of a controlled substance to a person under 18 years old and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

To make things worse his wife is an elementary school teacher who has also been suspended by the district. She, fortunately, has not been charged.


HS Kid Arrested for Bringing Pot Brownies to School

(Omaha Channel via Dumbass Daily.com) Yep, he's a dumbass. A 16-year-old Omaha boy who attends Millard South High School was arrested after bringing brownies allegedly laced with marijuana to homeroom and sharing them with several members of the class. Cop also say they found five tablets that they believe to be Ritalin in the pocket of the boy who claims he got them from another student.


Teen Arrested for Selling Pot Brownies Outside High School Cafeteria

(Dumbass Daily.com) The most impressive part of this story is not that an 18-year-old high school kid was selling marijuana brownies at school, but that he was doing it right outside the cafeteria, charging $5 each and actually got away with it for a day or so before being caught. The young entrepreneur, Andrew Perreault, 18, a senior at Cypress Bay High School was caught by an administrator on Tuesday and has admitted baking the brownies at home and lacing them with weed.


Special Ed Teacher Sex on Trial: Sex, Beer and Weed

(Dumbass Daily.com) A Special ed student testifies in trial of former teacher Adrianne Hockett that when he went over to her house for "tutoring" there wasn't much studying going on. According to the boy, he and Hockett would "have sex, drink beer and smoke weed" during get-togethers in the summer and fall of 2003.


Mother of the Year? Woman Throws Beer Can at Son Who Won't Roll Her a Joint

(Dumbass Daily.com) Just when you think people can't sink any lower, they find a way to did in a little deeper. Take Smyrna, Georgia mom Beverly Fisher, 48, who was arrested after her 11-year-old son called the cops and told them that she was drunk, had drugs, and threw beer at him. Why? Because her oldest son, 14, refused to roll a joint for her.

Man Reports Stolen Pot, Goes to Police Station to Identify It

(Forbes.com via Dumbass Daily.com) Does smoking weed make you stupid? It must because a Utah man called police to report that someone had broken a window in his apartment and the only thing that appeared to be missing was a quarter-pound of marijuana. Kory C. Tippetts, 18 also gave cops the name of a man who wanted to buy pot from him earlier in the day but he couldn't make the sale because he had to go to work. When officers caught up with that man, they found him at his mother's house with some weed and a cuts on his arm. Cops then called Tippetts back and told him they had solved the crime and that he had to come down and identify his stolen property . . . which he stupidly did. Tippetts was then arrested and booked into the Utah County jail for investigation of possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute. Dumbass!


Young Drug Dealer Arrested After Sending Out Text Messages Offering to Sell Pot

(KETV) Going high tech there, son? We're not experts, but it seems that when it comes to selling drugs the old fashioned methods developed years ago by hippies still work the best. Text messages? Probably not a good idea . . . especially if you're 18-year-old Jacob Lyman of Lincoln, Nebraska. Young Jake allegedly started sending out text messages that said, "Marijuana for sale" last weeks and after getting a tip, cops contacted him and arranged to buy the weed on two separate occasion. Lincoln police have arrested the lad on drug charges and probably took his cell phone away as well. At right, one of the saddest mug shots you are ever likely to see.

MORE BIZARRE DRUG STORIES:

Teacher Arrested for Manufacturing Meth Still on the Job

(WTVY) We can sort of understand why parents at Harry M. Mixon Elementary School in Alabama are upset that second grade teacher Donna Robbins is still on the job. She was, after all, arrested along with her boyfriend for manufacturing methamphetamine. Of course she was released on bond and is technically innocent until proven guilty, but parents at the school think she should have also been suspended from her job . . . which seems pretty common anymore after a teacher is arrested. But apparently, not in Alabama. Robbins is still on the job and with only a few weeks to go in the school year does not appear to be on the way out the door any time soon. Why not let her go? The district is apparently not answering that question while superintendent Dr. Dan Payant is out of town.


Third Person in Three Months Arrested for Bringing Drugs to Florida Courthouse

(Palm Beach Post and Dumbass Daily.com) It doesn't get any easier than that does it? The criminals come to you and almost ASK to be arrested! At the Martin County Courthouse in Florida, it's now happened three times since January 1: someone has been caught trying to bring illicit drugs in.

The latest dumbass was a 16-year-old boy who showed up for a hearing and was caught with a small bag of white powder in his wallet. Turned out to be cocaine and he was arrested on the spot for possession. In case you were wondering, this wasn't a surprise search: everyone entering the courthouse is subject to search and must pass through a metal detector, and a large sign outside warns everyone of that.

The teen was the third person since the beginning of the year who was caught coming into court.

Mom Arrested for Dropping Off Heroin to Son at School

(Dumbass Daily.com) Sheila Black, 41, of suburban Detroit, was arrested at a Ferndale school for allegedly delivering a syringe full of heroin to her son.

According to a report in The Daily Tribune, Black, was in the parking lot of Ferndale High School during the school's lunch hour, and was nabbed after police set up surveillance after they received a tip that she was planning to give the heroin to her son. She claims her son (who lives with his father) threatened to harm himself if he did not get the drugs so she agreed to drop them off at school to him.

Onstar Sends Cop to Driver, Officers Find Cocaine -

(6 ABC via Dumbass Daily.com) Ralph Gomez, the driver of a brand new Cadillac Escalade decided to try out his new Onstar communications system. When he couldn't hear the operator (he had the volume turned down too low) the driver didn't respond, so the Onstar operator did what she was supposed to: she sent the cops to the car's location.

When officers got to Gomez they could see there wasn't a problem but could clearly see that he had cocaine clearly visible on the SUV's center console. Yeah, he was busted. Thanks Onstar!

Meth Madness

Second Grade Teacher Arrested for Selling Meth to "Make Extra Money"

Jolene Cortez, a second-grade teacher at Conestoga Elementary school in Omaha was arrested on a charge of possession of methamphetamine with intent to deliver. Prosecutors said Cortez told cops she was selling the drugs to make extra money.

Kids Sleepover Interrupted When Cops Raid Home for Having Meth Lab

(Dumbass Daily.com) How'd you like to be a parent who got THAT phone call! "Uh, yes, Mr. Smith, this is the police, we have your daughter with us. She was at a home we just busted for having a meth lab."

According to police, about ten kids were attending the sleepover at a home in Hardin County, Kentucky where police allegedly found an active methamphetamine lab. Officers raided the home not realizing the kids were therer Saturday night and arrested the parents of two of the children.


Teacher Arrested for Manufacturing Meth Still on the Job

(WTVY via Dumbass Daily.com) We can sort of understand why parents at Harry M. Mixon Elementary School in Alabama are upset that second grade teacher Donna Robbins is still on the job. She was, after all, arrested along with her boyfriend for manufacturing methamphetamine.

Of course she was released on bond and is technically innocent until proven guilty, but parents at the school think she should have also been suspended from her job . . . which seems pretty common anymore after a teacher is arrested.

But apparently, not in Alabama. Robbins is still on the job and with only a few weeks to go in the school year does not appear to be on the way out the door any time soon. Why not let her go? The district is apparently not answering that question while superintendent Dr. Dan Payant is out of town.

Beyond explanation

She Hid the Gun Where?

(Dumbass Daily.com) We're not sure who's the bigger dumbass here: the cops for not patting this woman down better, or the criminal who somehow managed to hide a gun . . . until she sat on it in her jail cell and it went off! Here's the story: a Cleveland woman, Victoria Lundy, 41, was arrested by police after reports of shots being fired in a parked car on a city street. When they couldn't find a weapon, they booked Lundy on a suspended license charge.

According to other female inmates, while at the jail Lundy used the bathroom several times and the last time she came back and sat down the gun discharged. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but obviously at that point the cops knew there must be a firearm SOMEWHERE and finally recovered a .25 caliber pistol. Here's the disgusting part: upon closer examination officers found that there was an ". . . off white-colored liquid substance on the gun with red specks. It appeared to be consistent with vaginal fluid." Yuck!

Lundy finally admitted to the original shooting, saying she got into an argument and shot the gun twice in the air. At right, a picture of a 25 caliber gun, which may or may not look like the one this lady had tucked insider her who-ha. (Chillicothe Gazette)


What a Dick! Very Well Endowed Serial Flasher Nicknamed "Donkey Dong" Terrorizing Underwear Salespeople

(News.com.au via Dumbass Daily.com) It sounds like something out a bad movie . . . or maybe just a bad website! Department store salespeople in Australia are reporting that several times over the past six months an unidentified pervert, who they have nicknamed "Donkey Dong" for reasons that will become obvious in a minute, cons store clerks into coming into the changing room to see if his tight underwear "fits".

Said one salesperson, "He has been in here four times and apparently he always tries on the same pair of red undies. I didn't really know what to say when he asked me if I thought they fitted him." As far as his manly appendage? "It looks real and it's so big, it winds all the way down his leg and I wasn't sure what to do so I just went and got him a bigger pair." Wow! So either this guy is hung like a horse--or donkey--and he gets his kicks out of showing off his weiner, or it's a fake and he likes showing that off, too. Either way, local police are not amused and an APB (Awesome Penis Bulletin, we assume) has been put out for the guy before he and his mighty johnson strike again.


Fraternity Suspended for Making Professional Porn Video at Party

(Dumbass Daily.com) Phi Kappa Tau frat at California State University Chico has been suspended while the school investigates claims that a hard-core sex film was made at one of its parties last October.

Shane's World, a Southern California maker of adult films, allegedly provided four female and two male actors for the film. The porn was part of the company's "College Invasion" series of videos made on college campuses across the county.

Life Imitates "Office Space?"

(Dumbass Daily.com) Remember the character of Milton in the movie Office Space who actually got laid off, but due to a "glitch in the system" kept getting a paycheck for years so he didn't actually know he had been fired? That appears to have happened in real life, but it's even worse: the employee worked for the State of Illinois and the job appears to have been a cushy one to begin with.

According to that state's Attorney General, for six months in 2002, Connie Peters allegedly cashed $12,567 in state paychecks for a job that did not exist. Before that, she actually was paid as much as $25,560 a year merely to watch meetings of the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District and report back to the state's chief executive. Of course, when the Chicago Sun-Times reported on the cushy assignment in 2000, then Gov. George Ryan claimed he was not aware the job existed and had never read any of Peters' meeting reports.

Even after that, it took him a full TWO YEARS TO eliminate the post . . . which brings us to June of 2002 and Peters allegedly kept getting a paycheck until the end of that year, claiming she resigned on her own at that point. The State now wants more than $50,000 (including interest) from Peters.

Cop Catches Brother and Sister Having Sex, Has to Tell Them Twice to Stop Before They Comply

(Dumbass Daily.com) Think of the worst thing you've ever seen while watching COPs (we know you do!). Now double that, and double it again and you'll get some idea of what this poor Trafford, Georgia police officer had to go through. The wife of Ronald Stewart Howze, 44, thought her husband was fooling around on her, but not with just any bimbo in their trailer park.

Mrs. Howze suspected his lover was none other than his 41-year-old sister Lori Ann Rotton, who for purposes of this retelling of the story we will presume to be hot. According to the police report, Mrs. Howze suspected something unnatural was going on in their mobile home around midnight on April 7 and allowed an officer to sneak inside. And yes, there in the bedroom the siblings having sex . . . and you would have thought one or both of them would have jumped up when the cop showed up.

Nope.

The arresting officer claims he had to tell them at least twice to stop before they would comply and that at that point, the man stood up and said, "I guess I'm going to jail." Not surprisingly, both brother and sister had been drinking, and in fact Rotton was so intoxicated she had to be taken to a hospital before going to jail. What prompted this crime against nature?

According to the arresting officer, Howze told him he wanted to "go out crazy" after being diagnosed with cancer. Howze's attorney claims his client has seizures and doesn't remember what happened.

Female Lawyer's License Suspended for Two Years After Jail House Sex With Triple Murderer

(Dumbass Daily.com) She was supposed to be helping her client get out, not "get off."

Washington lawyer Theresa Olson has been suspended for two years and must undergo a psychological evaluation before she can be reinstated after guards outside a King County Jail conference room saw Olson with her dress pulled up and her client, Sebastian Burns, standing behind her with his pants down.

At the time of the encounter, Olson was 43 and married; Burns was 26. (Thanks to Fark.com for the link!)


Queens School Safety Officer Suspended for Setting Kid's Hair on Fire

(Dumbass Daily.com) Apparently, the two were friends and he was just "fooling around" when he used a lighter to torch the kid's head. Ha, Ha, Ha. Albert Blacks was arrested on charges of reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child and suspended without pay

Schoolyard Monitor Arrested for Shoving Weeds in Kid's Mouths

(Dumbass Daily.com) Just when you think you've reached the bottom of the dumbass ladder, someone comes along and builds another step, like this lady.

According to police Diana Ellis, 43, a school monitor at Myers/Ganoung Elementary School in Tucson, was cited for misdemeanor aggravated assault and then fired after another school employee found her disciplining two first-graders by--I'm not making this up!--stuffing weeds into their mouths. What had the kids done to deserve such a punishment?

Apparently made fun of another monitor who is deaf. And no, we don't understand it either.

14-Year-Old Girl Can't Find Teacher or Coach to Have Sex With, Settles for Janitor?????

(Dumbass Daily.com) Another female school employee is in trouble for having sex with an underage student, but this time it's a lady janitor (and her boyfriend) who are accused of having sex with a 14-year-old girl.

Amanda Dawn Goddard, 23, who worked at Thomas Hunter Middle School in Virginia, is accused of having sex with her four times and her 37-year old boyfriend is charged with having sex with her as well.

According to authorities, the activity was ongoing for approximately three months but did not take place at the school.